The Honeymooners

Sundays at 11 PM

alaska (on most MeTV stations)
'The Honeymooners' features Jackie Gleason as Brooklyn bus driver Ralph Kramden, his wife, Alice (Audrey Meadows), and their neighbors, Ed and Trixie Norton (Art Carney and Joyce Randolph). Frustrated by his working-class status, Ralph often develops get-rich-quick schemes that are, of course, bound to go awry. Though very short tempered and frequently resorting to insults and hollow threats, Ralph is a soft-hearted man who loves his wife and is devoted to his best pal, Ed.

Stories

Episode Guide

Episode Guide

Season 1
  • Season 1
  • Season 2
  • Season 3
  • Season 4
  • Season 5
  • Season 6
  • Season 7
  • Season 8
  • Season 9
  • Season 10

Ep 1: The New Bowling Ball

Ep 2: The Turkey

Ep 3: Six Months to Live

Ep 4: Lost Baby

Ep 5: Quiz Show

Ep 6: Question Mark

Ep 7: The Cold

Ep 8: Pickles

Ep 9: Sprained Thumb

Ep 10: Jellybeans

Ep 11: Missing Pants

Ep 12: Honeymooners Christmas Party

Ep 13: Alice Plays Cupid

Ep 14: Suspense

Ep 15: Lost Job

Ep 16: Anniversary Gift

Ep 17: Income Tax

Ep 18: Alice's Aunt Ethel

Ep 19: What's Her Name?

Ep 20: Lunchbox

Ep 21: Hot Tips

Ep 23: Ralph's Diet

Ep 22: Norton Moves In

Ep 24: Dinner Guest

Ep 25: Manager of the Baseball Team

Ep 26: The Prowler

Ep 27: Guest Speaker

Ep 28: Vacation at Fred's Landing

Ep 29: Glow Worm Cleaning

Ep 1: Hot Dog Stand

Ralph and Norton want to buy a hot-dog stand in New Jersey, but they need $600 first. Having trouble coming up with the money, they ask a bank for a loan. Mr. Foster, the banker, refuses to lend Ralph and Norton the money, until Norton mentions that they were planning to work their regular jobs nights and run the hot-dog stand during the day. Foster is impressed with their dedication and approves the loan.

Ep 2: Two Tickets to the Fight

Ep 3: Halloween Party

Ep 4: Champagne and Caviar

Ep 5: Letter to the Boss

Ralph comes home in a rage; after driving a bus for the Gotham Bus Company for nine years, he's been told to turn in his uniform. He is incensed, frustrated and humiliated, and the loss of income has him bordering on panic. Ralph feels cheated and betrayed—both by life and by J. J. Marshall, president of the bus company—so he decides to write Marshall a letter to tell him how he feels after being fired after nine years of loyal service.

Ep 6: Finger Man

Ep 7: Santa and the Bookies

Ep 8: Honeymooner's Christmas Party

Ep 9: New Year's Eve Party

Ep 10: This is Your Life

Ep 11: Cottage for Sale

Ep 12: Lawsuit

Ep 13: The Next Champ

Ralph and Norton are at the poolroom, when in walks Dynamite Moran, a small-time boxer who's come to New York to make it big. He's had two fights and two quick knockouts, and when Ralph sees him punch a cigarette machine he decides he wants to manage the kid.

Ep 14: Stand In for Murder

Ep 15: Move Uptown

The Kramdens have the chance to leave Brooklyn for the Bronx, renting a spacious, nicely decorated apartment that belongs to Ralph's friend, George, who is moving. But before they can live in luxury for a mere $15 more a month, they have to sublet their current apartment. Ralph tries a number of schemes to get out of his current living situation—one of which may inadvertently doom his Bronx apartment plans!

Ep 16: The Man in the Blue Suit

Ep 17: Hair-Raising Tale

Two con men pull a scam on Ralph as he sits in the park eating his lunch. They sell him exclusive rights to distribute a miracle hair restorer formula in New York. Ralph has a scheme to secure funding and pulls Norton into his plot, too, giving birth to KramNor's Miracle Restorer.

Ep 18: Boxtop Kid

Ep 19: Two Men on a Horse

Ep 20: Goodbye Aunt Ethel

Ep 21: Vacation/Fred's Landing

Ep 2: Game Called on Account of Marriage

Ep 3: Love Letter

Alice borrows a cookbook from Trixie and in it finds a love letter that Ed once wrote to Trixie. Alice leaves the letter on the icebox and Ralph finds it, leading him to believe that Alice is seeing another man. He and Norton try to figure out who wrote it. Norton thinks the handwriting looks familiar but can't figure out who wrote it. The boys take the letter to an analyst, and she tells them that the writer is the romantic type but also a man who is not too bright, rude and disorderly.

Ep 4: The People's Choice

Ep 6: Halloween Party for the Boss

Ep 5: Battle of the Sexes

While Ralph and Ed are at the pool hall, Trixie phones Norton and tells him to come home because her mother has come for a visit. Ralph gives Norton his "King of the Castle" speech, and Norton is so inspired that later that night Trixie comes down to the Kramdens' apartment in tears. Alice wakes up Ralph and gets his "King" speech, too. Ralph and Norton soon find themselves roommates in the Kramdens' apartment when Alice and Trixie walk out together.

Ep 7: Teamwork Beat the Clock

Ep 8: Brother-in-Law

Alice's brother Frank is coming for dinner. Ralph has hated Frank ever since he cheated him out of a promotion when they both worked for the WPA. Frank asks Ralph and Alice to borrow money because he wants to buy a hotel located near where a new highway is supposed to be built. Though the Kramdens turn him down, Ralph decides to steal the idea and buy the hotel with the Nortons. They get the hotel up and running, but their first guest—a surveyor with the highway construction crew—tells them that the highway isn't going to pass in front of the hotel, but over it. It's an elevated highway.

Ep 9: Songwriters

Ralph's gonna get rich by writing hit songs. Ralph's first step to stardom is to recruit Norton to play the piano and write the music to Ralph's lyrics. After failing at writing love songs, lullabies and holiday songs, they hit on a novelty song and take it to a publisher. Ralph is crushed when the publisher says he loves the melody but hates the words, and wants a professional songwriter to re-write the lyrics.

Ep 10: Kramden vs. Norton

It's Norton's birthday, and the Kramdens are treating him to a night out, but Ralph's looking to get off cheaply. He doesn't want the Nortons to think he's cheap, though, so he tells Alice to suggest that they go to the movies (instead of the Kit Kat Club, where Norton took Ralph on his birthday). Norton is on the receiving end of many gifts on his birthday, and going to the movies is the icing on Norton's cake when he has the winning ticket in a drawing for a television set. Ralph claims the set is his because he paid for the tickets, and a feud erupts.

Ep 11: A Promotion

Ep 12: The Hypnotist

Ep 13: Cupid

Ep 14: A Little Man Who Wasn't There

Ep 15: Hero

Ep 16: The Great Jewel Robbery

Ep 17: Peacemaker

After accidentally waking up Ralph, who, in a sleepy stupor, gets dressed and prepares to go to work, Norton gets into a brawl with Trixie, waking Ralph up again! With the dominos of pandemonium set into motion, the Kramdens and the Nortons are in for a long night of domestic squabbling.

Ep 18: The Adoption

Ep 19: Stars Over Flatbush

Norton has discovered astrology, and Ralph thinks he's nuts, especially when Norton tells him the stars say he shouldn't ask his boss, Mr. Malone, for the raise he planned to request that day. Norton also sees in the stars that Ralph will have an accident that day and will be rendered speechless. When a window falls on Ralph's hand and the pain is so great that he can't utter a sound, Ralph becomes hooked on the stars too. He doesn't ask for the raise, and Alice is furious when she learns the reason why.

Ep 20: One Big Happy Family

When Ralph realizes that he and Norton between them are paying $90 a month in rent, he proposes that they pool their money and share an apartment. The Kramdens and the Nortons move to 23 Mockingbird Lane in Flushing, Queens, but the euphoria of new surroundings wears off quickly: Norton spends all morning in the bathtub, and when Ralph finally gets into the bathroom he takes a tumble on soap Norton dropped on the floor and then can't get any hot water. Ralph tries to salvage his morning with a few waffles, but Norton has gotten to them first, too.

Ep 21: A Weighty Problem

Ep 22: Principle of the Thing

The Kramdens' apartment is going to pot—the pipes leak, the walls are cracking, the sink won't work, doorknobs are falling off. Ralph is fed up, so he seeks out Shaughnessy, the neighborhood lawyer, who advises him to withhold his rent until the landlord makes repairs. Ralph decides to take the rent money and repair and redecorate the apartment himself. He buys a new bathtub, and wallpaper that is too gaudy even for Norton.

Ep 23: Songs and Witty Sayings

Ep 24: Boys and Girls Together

The Kramdens have new neighbor and Ralph welcomes him by inviting him to join Norton and himself out for pool, bowling and lodge meetings. After a while the girls realize that they aren't sexy enough and vow to change to attract their husbands. Before long they are all spending time together—just a bit too much time.

Ep 1: TV or Not TV

Ralph and Norton buy a T.V. set together and constantly fight over what to watch.

Ep 2: Funny Money

Ralph finds a suitcase on his bus that contains counterfeit money, only to be sought out by those who printed it.

Ep 3: The Golfer

Ralph tries to learn how to play golf to impress his boss, and, of course, the situation turns into a disaster.

Ep 4: A Woman's Work is Never Done

Tired of Ralph's endless domestic complaints, Alice takes a job and leaves a maid to take care of the housework.

Ep 5: A Matter of Life and Death

When Ralph thinks he's dying and sells the story to a magazine, he discovers it was a dog who was sick instead.

Ep 6: The Sleepwalker

Norton is sleepwalking and Ralph gets stuck looking after him.

Ep 7: Better Living Through Televison

Ralph and Norton go on T.V. to sell a kitchen utensil.

Ep 8: Pal O'Mine

Ralph's feelings are bruised when Ed buys a friendship ring for one of his pals on the sewer crew. Though Ralph gets it stuck on his finger, they eventually make up after Ed survives a sewer explosion.

Ep 9: Brother Ralph

Ralph, after making a suggestion at work, is laid off. Alice decides to take a job as a secretary, but tells her boss that Ralph is her brother.

Ep 10: Hello, Mom

Ep 11: The Deciding Vote

Ralph is busy buying Alice a vacuum while Norton is the deciding vote in the Raccoon election for convention manager.

Ep 12: Something Fishy

Ralph and Norton don't want to take their wives on a Raccoon fishing trip.

Ep 13: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Ralph hocks his bowling ball to get Alice a present when someone else gets her the same thing he did.

Ep 14: The Man from Space

When the Kramdens and Nortons enter a Raccoon costume contest a feud arises between Ralph and Ed.

Ep 15: A Matter of Record

Ralph cuts a record to sweet talk Alice after insulting her mother.

Ep 16: Oh My Aching Back

Ralph hurts his back at a bowling tournament the night before his physical exam.

Ep 17: The Babysitter

Alice is baby-sitting to pay for a phone but Ralph thinks she's two-timing him.

Ep 18: The $99,000 Answer

Ralph goes on a quiz show with the category of popular songs. He practices all week, spending a lot of money, only to miss on the first question!

Ep 19: Ralph Kramden, Inc.

Norton invests in Ralph's stock when Ralph wants twenty dollars. When Ralph thinks he is named in a millionaire's will, arguments arise. It turns out Ralph was simply left a pet bird named Fortune, and much of the money was left to the butler and maid.

Ep 20: Young at Heart

Ralph and Norton take their wives dancing and rollerskating when they begin to complain about wanting to do things young people do.

Ep 21: A Dog's Life

Ralph feeds his boss dog food, thinking that it is an appetizer that Alice made.

Ep 22: Here Comes the Bride

Ralph's advice to a lodge brother on how to be head of the household has his wife (Alice's sister) in tears.

Ep 23: Mama Loves Mambo

A new neighbor wears out his welcome teaching good manners and the mambo.

Ep 24: Please Leave the Premises

The Kramdens and the Nortons fight a rent increase, though Ralph is the only one who really wants to fight.

Ep 25: Pardon My Glove

Alice is getting the apartment re-decorated for free but Ralph thinks she's two-timing him.

Ep 26: Young Man with a Horn

Ralph tries to hit the high note on a civil service exam as well as his cornet.

Ep 27: Head of the House

Ralph tells a newspaper that he's head of the house, but then has to prove it to a co-worker.

Ep 28: The Worry Wart

The IRS invites Ralph to clear something up on his tax return and that drives Ralph nuts (though he discovers he just forgot to sign his name).

Ep 29: Trapped

Ralph captures two thugs that followed him home after he witnessed a hold-up.

Ep 30: The Loudspeaker

Ralph writes a speech because he thinks he's going to be Raccoon of the Year—but it turns out Norton receives the honor.

Ep 31: On Stage

Ralph, Alice and Ed are in a Raccoon play, and Ralph expects to be a big star.

Ep 32: Opportunity Knock But

Ralph and Ed play pool with Ralph's boss and Ed gets a job at the bus company.

Ep 33: Unconventional Behavior

Ed handcuffs himself to Ralph on their way to the Raccoon convention.

Ep 34: The Safety Award

Ralph has an accident on his way to receiving his Safest Bus Driver Award.

Ep 35: Mind Your Own Business

Ed sells irons after Ralph's advice got him fired from the sewer. When Ed lies about how much money he's making so that the Kramdens don't feel bad, Ralph considers selling irons, too.

Ep 36: Alice and the Blonde

The Kramdens and Nortons visit the Wedemeyers and the wives believe their husbands are neglecting them.

Ep 37: The Bensonhurst Bomber

Ralph gets into an argument at the pool hall and has to fight a big guy at the gym. He arranges it so that he can pretend to knock out a bigger man and make the other one scared. Instead he knocks out a stranger, regaining his confidence to go ahead with the fight.

Ep 38: Dial J for Janitor

Ralph takes on a job as janitor of his building.

Ep 39: A Man's Pride

Ralph tells Alice's ex-boyfriend that he runs things at the bus company.

Ep 1: Double Anniversary Party

Ep 2: Check Up

Ep 3: Forgot to Register

Ep 4: Expectant Father

Ep 5: Goodnight Sweet Prince

Ep 6: Two-Family Car

Ep 7: The Love Letter

Ep 8: Finders Keepers

When Ralph and Norton decide to buy a candy store, they run into the slight problem of financing the business venture. But after hearing about a find-the-missing-money contest that will more than cover the investment, they study the clues, determined to locate the hidden loot.

Ep 9: Catch a Star

The Raccoon Lodge is holding a dance benefit and the lodge brothers suggest getting a big-name celebrity to attend. Norton recalls that Ralph had told him that he knew Jackie Gleason. So the Raccoons insist that Ralph go after booking Gleason for the benefit. All four stars play themselves at one point in this episode.

Ep 10: My Fair Landlord aka The 99 Year Lease

Ep 11: Away We Go

Ep 12: Plastered In Paris

Ep 13: Behind The Iron Curtain

Ep 14: When In Rome

Ep 15: Curse Of The Kramdens

Ep 16: Mad Dogs And Englishmen

Ep 17: Framed In Spain

Ep 18: I Remember Mau Au

Ep 1: Two Below

Ep 2: TV Game of the Week

Ep 3: The Adoption

Ep 1: In Twenty-Five Words or Less

Ep 2: Ship Of Fools

Ep 3: The Poor People Of Paris

Ep 4: Confusion Italian Style

Ep 5: The Curse of the Kramdens

Ep 6: The Honeymooners In England

Ep 7: You're in the Picture

Ep 8: We Spy

Ep 9: Petticoat Jungle

Ep 10: Run, Santa, Run

Ep 11: King of the Castle

Ep 12: Movies are Better Than Ever

Ep 13: Without Reservations

Ep 14: Life Upon the Wicked Stage

Ep 15: Rififi, Brooklyn Style

Ep 16: Ralph Kramden Presents

Ep 17: Flushing Ho

Ep 18: Sees All, Knows All

Ep 1: Be It Ever So Humble

Ep 2: Hair to a Fortune

Ep 3: The People's Choice

Ep 4: Two for the Money

Ep 5: Nephew of the Bride

Ep 6: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Ep 7: Two Faces of Ralph Kramden

Ep 8: The Main Event

Ep 9: To Whom It May Concern

Ep 1: Sleepy Time Girl

Ep 2: The Boy Next Door

Ep 3: Follow the Boys

Ep 4: Six Months to Live

Ep 5: Alice's Birthday

Ep 6: Lawsuit

Ep 7: Hot Tip

Ep 8: The New Bowling Ball

Ep 9: Norton Moves In

Ep 10: The New Manager

Ep 1: Play It Again, Norton

Ep 2: Ralph Goes Hollywood

Ep 3: The Mexican Hat Trick

Ep 4: Case of the Cuckoo Thief

Ep 5: The Honeymoon Is Over

Ep 6: Happiness Is A Rich Uncle

Ep 7: Hawaii, Uh Oh

Ep 8: The Sun And Racoon Capital

Ep 9: The Match Game

Ep 10: Double Trouble

Ep 11: The Incredible World of Ed Norton

Ep 12: We're Off to See the Wizard

Ep 13: Operation Protest