Old Ads that Seem Bad

My pal Frank sent me an e-mail chock-loaded with some old magazine ads- and I found them pretty funny and maybe even a little disturbing. Granted, some of the cheapo TV ads we’ve talked about in the past certainly fit that bill as well, but- some of these? They’d be targets of big-time protests today. For example, we have an ad for a kitchen device called the Chef, with the heading- “The Chef does everything but cook- that’s what wives are for!” The photo in the ad depicts hubby , standing behind the Chef on the counter- with his loving wife hugging his shoulder- wearing a chef’s hat! Say that to a wife today, and she may introduce you to that old kitchen stand-by of the era of that ad- a rolling pin in the noggin! Follow that up with an ad for Kellogg’s Pep- a once popular cereal, with smiling hubby saying to his apron-wearing, feather-duster-toting bride “So, the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!” Yes, the wife thrives on cooking, cleaning, and dusting, according to the ad- thanks to her always getting her vitamins from the Pep cereal! So- get that spouse to amp up her housework, and you’ll have a Kate Upton on your hands… Here’s another jaw dropper- a drawing of a young mother with her smiling infant- and the ad reads- “How Mother and Baby ‘Picked Up’ “- and the text suggests ‘a case of Blatz Beer in your home means much more to the young mother, and obviously (OBVIOUSLY?!) baby participates in its benefits. The malt in beer supplies nourishing qualities that are essential at this time and the hops acts as an appetizing, stimulating tonic.” No wonder the kid is smiling. There’s an ad that states “isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas gift?” seems a bit disturbing, seen out of context. The picture at the top of the ad depicts, amidst some Christmas tree boughs and ornaments and the corners of a few wrapped presents- a Colt six-shooter! It almost seems to indicate that it’s about time you used this to end those Xmas blues- or, utilize the “gift” to eliminate whoever is causing you grief… Of course, there's one you might recall- touting the fact that “More Doctors Smoke Camels than any other cigarette”- urging you “for 30 days, test Camel in your T-Zone (T for Throat, T for Taste)!” Keep that up, and you’ll be seeing that doctor regularly- in your H-zone (the hospital…) I’ll finish this subject with the ad of a happy family- fit-looking dad and young mom in swimsuits,, and junior being carried in dad’s arms, with the headline “They’re Happy Because they eat LARD”! I didn’t want to lard this blog with so many ads that I didn’t have room for a “Halloween Horror of the Day”- and , today’s isn’t lard- but a blob of gelatinous goo known as “The Blob”!We’ve shown this 1958 sci fi classic on our program- a meteor plummets to earth, and an old man and his dog find it- when the meteor splits open, the old fellow scoops some goo out of it with a stick- but the gunk slides to his arm and hangs on! Two teens- a young Steve McQueen and Andy Taylor’s future wife Helen Crump- Aneta Corsaut- find the old man while searching for the meteor, and bring him to the local doctor. Before long- the gelatinous goo consumes the old man, and grows into an expanding menace- eventually large enough to fill most of a movie theater and engulf a diner- trapping the young couple and the owner inside! The terrifying “Blob” , virtually unstoppable, ever growing and devastating to human flesh, is a 50s fright quite worthy of the title of “Halloween Horror of the Day”! Now, if only I had come up with a horror that resembled Kellogg’s Pep…