There’s Columbus Among Us

Toady is the official celebration of Columbus Day- honoring the Italian explorer who "discovered" America (named after fellow Italian explorer Amerigo Vespucci-remind me, when is Vespucci Day?).It won't be as big a celebration for some- the Chicago Public Schools, which usually have the day off,is keeping the kids in class this year, since the teacher's strike made it necessary to make up some lost days in the school year.They are still having the parade, though- probably without some of the participants and/or audience, since they'll be in school. I have a connection to Columbus- no, not via my partial Italian heritage- but, because back in my days at Maine East high school, I was part of the school speech team. My event one year was "original monologue"-which is exactly what it says- you did a monolgue that you made up. Mine was a bit about an Italian history professor (with a nice Italian accent- partially learned from my relatives, and aided by my taking Italian for four years as my language class!) who was trying frantically to teach his students the story of Columbus' journey, with a lot incorrect facts coming up. I wish that I had a written copy of the speech- I remember very little of it- but I think it was pretty good- because I got first place in the state speech competition for it that year. I'm sure I still have the trophy someplace among my high school souveniers. Also, my dad was a member of the Knights of Columbus- he never got the fancy plumed hat, which I would have hankered to add to my costume collection someday, nor the fancy cape (which definitely would have been enlisted for Dracula duty)- but, somewhere at home, he still has the fancy sword with Columbus' head at the end of the silver handle. I saw a pretty funny Columbus gag in the newspaper yesterday, in a comic called "Daddy's Home" ( that title has nothing to do with the subject matter...)- with the caption "Columbus' GPS",it depicts one of the explorer's three ships about to fall off the edge of the earth- as an electronic voice from aboard says"...recalculating"!!! One of my favorite Columbus bits can be found in the great Stan Freberg's "History of the United States" album-in which Columbus convinces the Queen of Spain that "It's a Round Round World" in song-I should pull that out and listen to it as my way of observing Columbus Day. It may be Columbus Day, but that's no reason for us to take a day off from naming today's "Halloween Horror of the Day"- so, let's choose something that would probably qualify as a menace that Columbus and his men were somewhat worried they might encounter on their voyage "around the world". It's the giant octopus that menaced nuclear subs and San Francisco in the Ray Harryhausen classic "It Came from Beneath the Sea"!(We had that picture on our show, but sadly, do not have broadcast rights to it currently.) Radiation from nuclear testing (a familiar theme of 1950s sci fi) has caused an octopus to mutate into a huge behemoth that first makes its prescence known by grabbing a nuclear sub- then proceeds to cause the disappearance of fishing fleets and various boats and bathers- eventually hitting the city by the bay, causing destruction at the Golden Gate Bridge and various San Fran locations. The giant octopus is another perfect example of the amazing stop-motion work of Harryhausen- and it's always noted that the octopus does not have eight legs- due to a tight budget, Harryhausen could only give it six legs, but arranged the shots so well that few people notice if they haven't been clued in to the fact. The octopus- or sixtapus, if you insist- still grabs us enough to qualify as our Columbus Day "Halloween Horror of the Day"!