Who said these lines on The Dick Van Dyke Show?

You know the show, now who said these quotes?

 

When it comes to furniture-based gags, the opening credits to The Dick Van Dyke Show was its own Ottoman Empire.

Everybody knows and loves TDVDS for its physical comedy. While Van Dyke was absolutely the Prince of Pratfalls, the writing on that show deserves some spotlight, too. Because, after all, it's a show about comedy writers!

Here's the deal: We're going to provide a quote, and you're going to guess who said it! Simple as that, right? Well... sometimes, context is key. So this might be a little bit trickier than you pictured. But give it a shot, and let us know your thoughts and score in the comment section below. Have fun! 

  1. "It's just like my Aunt Agnes used to say..."
  2. "Dwight Heatheron happens to be an excellent writer who is unknown because he gets no publicity."
  3. "This guy laughs at everything! Bet he'll laugh if I say 'shoehorn'... SHOEHORN!"
  4. "At least I'll prove one thing tonight: Television writers marry the prettiest girls."
  5. "I want to take a nap before I go to sleep."
  6. "Millie, in trying to help you, Rob, wrote fourteen letters praising the show, and Alan, and you."
  7. "Noooo. I was at the U.N. the day it happened. Listen, if this guy didn't have those four eyes, I'd have married him."
  8. "I dreamt that Danny Thomas was chasing me and throwing walnuts at me, and every place he'd hit me I'd lose a thumb and grow an eye!"
  9. "The only Dick and Betty Carter I know are Phil and Edna Greenbaum."
  10. "This is getting to me. I think I'm a premature father."

Who said these lines on The Dick Van Dyke Show?

Your Result...

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48 Comments

FloridaTopCat 1 month ago
7 of 10, but I don't remember any of them; just educated guesses from 60 years ago!
Jerryfan 12 months ago
10/10. I guess I've watched the show a lot over the years.
JHP 14 months ago
8/10 - dont remember sally saying that (#7)
Suepurr JHP 13 months ago
It was the Danny Thomas Aliens walnut episode
JHP Suepurr 13 months ago
thanks for the reply :) you are correct:)
Coldnorth Suepurr 12 months ago
My favorite episode
Deleted 15 months ago
This comment has been removed.
LoveMETV22 15 months ago
Sounds like the episode "Jealousy." Millie says that a lot in that episode, but to Jerry.
McGillahooala 15 months ago
6/10. All guesses. Only saw the show a couple of times.
AmberRAR 15 months ago
10/10-- but I've been watching this show for over 50 years! We are both classics!
Wendy57 15 months ago
9/10
Sorta tricky, but, I managed to tip toe around the ottoman on all but the last one.
MikefromJersey Wendy57 30 days ago
8 for 10, so I guess I stubbed my toe on the ottoman.
JeffPaul76 15 months ago
"You got 6 out of 10 Oops...Looks like you got a little tripped up over the finer details.'' ----I got 2, 5, 8, and 10 wrong.
IndianaRockz 15 months ago
6/10 so disappointed in myself
Indy Girl,
No tickets to the Alan Brady Show for you!
LOL!!! Ohh nooo, not that! NOW where will I get to wear my new pillbox hat, matching white gloves, pocketbook, fake pearls, & Jackie O. skirt-suit ensemble??!!??
How funny Mikeyboy cuz believe it or not I was just thinking of you about when the notification came through cuz approx. at that time I was in..........Griffith! Stopped @ their lovely Svenards & Aldi en route to stop at a wake. Literally thought of you & your cousin & was gonna snap a pic of a Griffith sign which I didn't see, or at the very least, the ol' beloved abandoned Kmart to post a pic on here tonite.😄
Indy Girl,
Yes, I vote you get the Jackie O outfit. With her white gloves and pearls, June Cleaver will be onboard as well. You guys could start a trend.
Nice you were thinking of me in Griffith. One of my earliest memories was of a red and
white stripped McDonalds we would all go to when visiting my uncle there.
If you again stop by there would love to see any pics.
Will do. And years ago they built a new Mc'D s (on the s. side of Ridge Rd.) to replace the older one on Ridge Rd. I feel like it is in the spot where there used to be a buffet style restaurant called Obie's across the street where the old McD's was....next to Arbys & Arbys is still there. When I was a kid we'd eat at Cap'n D's (so good!) in Griffith on Ridge but it changed to a Wendy's decades ago. Growing up the Griffith Zayre, the 2 indoor movie theaters, Venture which turned into a Kmart, Service Merchandise were all wonderful shopping destinations with so many great memories! 😄
Your post reminds me of a bit on MASH with Klinger and Hot Lips. Klinger
is waxing nostalgic about his hometown, Hot Lips envious because as a
army brat her family kept moving, no connections or memories to anywhere.
You are lucky you have those memories/connections.
MrsPhilHarris 15 months ago
8/10 Missed 2 and 8 which was a finger slip. 😁
KJExpress 15 months ago
9/10. I got #5 wrong. Was hoping to ace this one.
Maverick66 15 months ago
5/10. I think I got flustered when I saw how many new quizzes were posted today. 😆
Big3Fan 15 months ago
Got tripped up on half of 'em. I blame the ottoman.
MadMadMadWorld Big3Fan 15 months ago
Should have got 9 of 10, as I did. #4 did me in for a perfect score! Don't remember what episode that line was in.
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