Picture the scene: It's 1969 and TV Time Syndicate writer Marilyn Beck is poised for a big celebrity exposé. What scandals would she uncover? What dirt would she reveal? Would her chair collapse under the weight of a 350-pound barnyard animal? 

This was, admittedly, a different beast compared to the subjects Beck usually covered. This beast's name was Arnold. And he was a pig. Not in the way that some celebrities might be described as an insult. No, this was an actual pig. A genuine hog. A true swine. A bona fide member of the "sus domesticus" family of animals. He was, however, also a major television star.

Arnold Ziffel of Green Acres was a tough interview, responding to most questions with a patented grunt. But don't mistake his retorts for apathy; if anything, Arnold's answers just reminded Marilyn Beck of other, more human interviewees. Luckily, Arnold had a full entourage, including a paid advisor who helped articulate some of the pig's points.

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"Arnold's destined for bigger things," hanger-on Frank Inn explained. Inn's statement wasn't just conjecture, either. There was a precedent for pig-related presentation, as earlier attempts at porcine popularity failed to reach those same heights. This Arnold, the one that Marilyn Beck interviewed in 1969, could've been more accurately named Arnold III. The original Arnolds outgrew the role, bulking up to over 500 pounds each before being literally put out to pasture.

"The original Arnold tried to make a comeback last year on a Beverly Hillbillies show," said Inn, "but he failed."

Failure was not an option for the upwardly mobile Arnold III. Instead, he trotted his way into the hearts of millions, frequently upstaging his theatrically-trained costars. 

Some pig!

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