23 chips and crackers you will never snack on again
Warning: The article will give you the munchies.
The snack aisle at your local grocery store can be overwhelming. There are 18 different varieties of Wheat Thins, Triscuits and Ritz, dusted with foodie flavors like Spicy Buffalo, Tomato & Sweet Basil, and Wasabi & Soy Sauce.
This plethora of options is not entirely new. Half a century ago, you could grab crackers flavored like ham, celery, chicken, bacon and onion. Those crispy corn tidbits came shaped as horns, flowers, bowties, surfboards and more.
While some brands like Doritos and Bugles have stayed around, most of these vintage snacks have turned to nothing more than Cheetos dust in the wind. Let's take a look at some bygone crackers and chips you will never eat again. Which one would you bring back?
1. Appeteasers
Crescent rolls are one of the greatest parts of Thanksgiving meals. But what if you could eat adorable little teeny tiny crescent rolls every day? We'd pound those by the handful.
2. Barbecue Vittles
Seemingly designed for snacking while watching Westerns on television, these wee corn "barrels" had a (Gun)smoky flavor.
Image: General Mills
3. Betcha Bacon
Sure, it looks a bit like a dog treat, but these bacon snacks offered more dignity than chewing handfuls of Bac'Os Bacon Bits salad toppings. And let's be honest — we've all done that at some point. Perhaps you remember the commercials featuring child star Mason Reese?
Image: General Mills
5. Buttons
In the late 1960s, these promised to "taste like cheddar, only better." They looked suspiciously like Pizza Wheels, minus the pizza-ness.
Image: General Mills
6. Celery Thins
Celery gets a bad rap as a dull vegetable. But celery flavoring is underrated — quite delicious and refreshing. Shout out to all you fellow Cel-Ray Soda fans.
Image: Nabisco
8. Cheeblers
The Keebler Elves cook up far more than cookies. These snappy snacks, around in the 1980s, were also once known as Krunch Twists.
9. Chit Chats
There's a fancy little gathering going on around the box of these 1960s barbecue crackers. This cracker box is more formal than most offices these days.
10. Crisp-i-Taters
Are they french fries or potato chips? Does it really matter? We'd eat 'em either way.
11. Daisy*s
"Looks like a flower, tastes like bacon." Now that is truly romantic.
Image: General Mills
12. Dixies
How adorable — miniature drumsticks! Chicken, that is. Not the percussion instrument.
14. Duet
In 1969, this Nabisco offering wed sweet and salty. Essentially, it was akin to the ubiquitous Digestive biscuits of the U.K. and Australia. Those are perfect with tea. One problem — Americans don't drink that much afternoon tea.
Image: Nabisco via Click Americana
15. Hotchas
Also sold in 1969, this General Mills corn chip foresaw the popularity of the "walking taco."
Image: General Mills
16. Joey Chips
A simple question for those around in 1967, when this snack hit the market: Who is Joey? Bishop? A baby kangaroo?
Image: General Mills
17. O'Boisies
"O'Boisies are o'boisterous!" the jingle proclaimed, upping the vocabulary level of the average commercial break.
Image: Keebler / YouTube
18. Pizza Spins
Yes, we mention them in every nostalgic snack post. But people LOVED these things.
Image: General Mills
19. Pop-R-Corns
Long before Popchips, about five decades earlier, Pop-R-Corns turned popcorn into snackable wafers. Unfortunately, the name read more like "Pop Our Corns" than "Popper Corns," which, ew, gross.
Image: General Mills
20. Royal Lunch
That sounds like a euphemism for something. Actually, Royal Lunch was one of Nabisco's earliest cracker offerings, and the brand stuck around for 90-some years.
22. Swiss 'N' Ham Flings
Cheese and meat, two great tastes that always go together. Not always in a puffy curl, but why not?
SEE MORE: 12 CRISPY, SALTY SNACK FOODS FROM THE 1960S
Oh, there's more. We could not forget Dippy Canoes, Pik Chicks and Salty Surfers. READ MORE