10 all-time classic Pete Malloy quotes from Adam-12

Martin Milner’s sarcasm and perfect delivery were some of the best things about the show.

NBC/Universal

Though producer (and Dragnet star) Jack Webb made sure Adam-12 portrayed real police procedures as accurately as possible, that doesn’t mean the show was dull or tedious – far from it! Along with many dramatic high-stakes moments, the classic cop series showed many funny and bizarre scenes as well. 

The dynamic between Pete Malloy and Jim Reed was the heart of the show. A seasoned veteran shaping his rookie partner into one of the best officers on the force produced many great episodes. But that doesn’t mean their relationship was always problem-free.

Martin Milner captured both Malloy’s good heart and dedication to the job as well as his sarcastic wit and wry personality. 

Here are some of our favorite funny, admirable and even profound Pete Malloy quotes.

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1. “A wise man once said, ‘Great hazards accompany innovation.’”

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When Reed asks who said this insightful quote, Malloy responds, "Me!"

2. “It would be a pretty dull world if everybody was the same, Mr. Reardon.”

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Malloy's response to crotchety old Mr. Reardon (played by one of classic TV's best "old man" character actors, Burt Mustin) who doesn't want hippies in his neighborhood. 

3. “There’s nothing wrong with being quiet; sometimes it’s a virtue.”

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Reed had a tendency to talk Malloy's ear off. This was one time Malloy assured Reed that silence inside the 1-Adam-12 patrol car was never a bad thing.

4. “I should've listened to me.”

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Sometimes we go against our better instincts. This Malloy quote illustrates that feeling perfectly.

5. “No, I do not want to spend the rest of the watch trying to figure out why anybody would keep a boa constrictor as a house pet.”

 NBC/Universal

Reed hadn't even asked anything yet before Malloy shot back this response. Malloy knew Reed would want to talk about the strange encounter they just had, but Malloy knew there was no point in speculating about something that, to him, was incomprehensible.

6. “The subject of marriage came up.”

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The reason why part of bachelor Malloy's day off with a lady friend didn't go so well.

7. “Give him a ball of yarn and he could knit us both a sweater.”

 NBC/Universal

Reed remarks that a car in front of them is weaving, which prompts Malloy to make this joke. Fun fact: the tipsy driver in this scene is played by Hal Smith, a.k.a. Mayberry's own town drunk, Otis Campbell.

8. “I know I’m not the fastest guy in the world, but today, as far as you’re concerned, I’m Olympic material. You understand?”

 NBC/Universal

Sometimes Malloy had to keep his young partner in check.

9. “It’s my allowance, Mother. I can spend it on whatever I want!”

 NBC/Universal

One of Malloy's most sarcastic quips, it comes after Reed chastises him for wanting to by a boat.

10. Last but certainly not least, Malloy's famous patrol car speech from the first episode:

 NBC/Universal

“This black and white patrol car has an overhead valve V8 engine. It develops 325 horsepower at 4800 RPM's. It accelerates from 0 to 60 in seven seconds; it has a top speed of 120 miles an hour. It's equipped with a multi channeled DFE radio and an electronic siren capable of admitting three variables: wail, yelp, and alert. It also serves as an outside radio speaker and public address system. The automobile has two shotgun racks, one attached to the bottom portion of the front seat, one in the vehicle trunk. Attached to the middle of the dash, illuminated by a single bulb, is a hot sheet desk - fastened to which you will always make sure is the latest one off the teletype before you ever roll.”

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44 Comments

kurtis222 1 month ago
It's funny Maloy says "overhead valve engine".Unless it's a "flathead" engine,all engines would be "overhead valve"at that time.
JERRY6 1 month ago
well my 440 1970 dodge fury police car made over 370 hp went over 130mph no problem had crazy TQ OVER 450THAT EX POLICE CAR WAS UNBREAKABLE mALLOY MUST BE TALKING ABOUT THE aMBASSADOR POLICE CAR NOT THE DODGE USED IN LATER YEARS
reynolds1415 1 month ago
That's life in the big city and lessons aren't free
Scott76112 1 month ago
Marty Milner had a long and interesting career. If you check out his filmography on IMDB, you'll see an impressive list of movies, starting when he was quite young ("Life With Father").

After he retired, he spent his time fly-fishing, and had a radio show about it.

Really a nice and humble guy. He said, "I was never a celebrity--just a working actor."
Bluerabbit2 Scott76112 1 month ago
If you happen to see clips from Tattletales and Hollywood Squares, he was asked about his avocado farm.
Patrick643 1 month ago
I know these are more one-liners, but two of my favorite Pete Malloy moments are:

1) his wonderful two-word deadpan response to Bob Hastings saying that he spilled all the contents of his wassail bowl during his Christmas Eve fight with his wife in the Yellow Dump Truck episode: "your what?"

2) his whole ham overacting speech to Jed Allan in the IAD episode: "Pete, you owe me!" "You owed a lot of policemen a chance to do their job without being branded lousy, think about that. They can't do it now, 'cause you got 'em dirty! One cop gets weak or greedy or stupid, that puts a hat on all of us and we have to swallow it. People calling us pigs. Wives and children and friends having to live with that. Because one rotten cop gets both his feet in the trough...That's right, we were [friends]. But you used that friendship, you wrapped your GARBAGE in it. Now there's nothing left for it except the dump." Like Master Thespian would say: "Acting! GENIUS!"

Sounds like I might not think much of his acting, but nothing could be further from the truth. RIP, Martin Milner.
BrittReid 1 month ago
You're a regular ray of sunshine aren't you?
MsRockford74 1 month ago
His last lines of Elegy for a Pig are really profound. "Tonight's newspaper will report it all. Old news. From now on, she'll have to open her own doors. Carry her own troubles. And her children's. Alone. From now on, it's just the three of them, instead of just the four. And if there must be a final postscript to all of this, then let it here be noted: the coffin will soon be buried. He will be forgotten except by a very few. Out of sight, out of mind. And strangely enough, in view of current custom, no one will raise a placard to denounce his senseless murder. No one will raise indignant cries of protest at the shedding of his blood. No one will march in anger because of his death."
Bapa1 1 month ago
He was really good. Saw him in an early episode of the Lone Ranger, He also had a small part in the John Wayne Movie, 'Sands of Iwo Jima'.
RobbieinTokyo 1 month ago
Martin was great. Loved him in that Twilight Zone episode, 'Mirror Image' about a doppelganger in a bus stop in upstate NY starring Vera Miles.

He also had a part in a Columbo. Aside from the pilot, it was the first episode of Columbo. 'Murder by the Book' starring Jack Cassidy as the villain, and what a great Columbo villain he made.

This Columbo is special in many ways, besides Martin's appearance as the true writer of the writing team of best selling mystery novels.
Stephen Bochco wrote it, having no experience in writing the genre. He later would write some of the biggest TV shows in the 70s, 80s, including Hill Street Blues.

But the biggest surprise about this first Columbo was who directed it. A young, inexperienced 'kid' named Steven Spielberg.
Moverfan RobbieinTokyo 1 month ago
Spielberg, Spielberg...yeah, I've heard that name. Didn't he make a movie about a shark?
tootsieg 1 month ago
I love Malloy’s quote about the man and his girlfriend that had too much to drink and the man had a real gun and he is waving it around and acting crazy and Malloy says to Reed “He thinks he’s Clyde Barrow” or something like that.
KentuckyPhil69 1 month ago
Love Martin Milner!! Classicly underrated, but one of Hollywood's finest to me!!!
Bdslim 27 months ago
That's what she said...
I have the video to prove to it 😀
BrianMcNeil 29 months ago
Not bad, but my favorite is when they were dealing with the german wanna be's investigating the swastika on the lawn when Malloy stars taking notes and the head person ask him what he writing and Malloy says I'm writing an FI report and the guy asked what's a FI Foolish idiot and Malloy says in your case yes
jerrygon 32 months ago
"Strawberry fox still moves pretty good", (after Malloy catches a perp that outran Reed).
Toot1956 32 months ago
At end #10" he added it may your life one day"
jerrygon 33 months ago
Bounty hunter: You really go by the book don't you?

(Pete Malloy): "That's why they wrote it."
RichLorn 33 months ago
Here's one they missed:
"If I have to listen to one more rant from Joe Friday, I'm going to pull my gun."
RazzMatazz71 RichLorn 23 months ago
When did they say that?🤔
jerrygon 33 months ago
Martin Milner was the best thing about Adam-12. I could have come up with 50 quotes from the show right off the top of my head!
VanHalen 33 months ago
When house hunting, in FL, we went into a house to view that had a baby boa in a glass cage. Walked out immediately, if not sooner. People, in America, are getting very "unusual" to say the least.
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