Frank Burns' bride remains a total mystery to M*A*S*H fans
Jeanne Schulherr came out of nowhere when she stepped into Frank Burns' wedding video on M*A*S*H, and then she disappeared forever. Who was she?
Near the end of the M*A*S*H episode "There Is Nothing Like a Nurse," everybody but Frank and Margaret gather around to watch what they soon discover is Frank’s wedding video.
Everyone chuckles as Frank’s bride walks up the aisle, her mouth remaining fixed in a frown, even when she joins Frank, whose plastered wedding day grin also looks more like a grimace.
Throughout the series we’d heard plenty of talk about Frank’s wife, so this reveal was a long time coming for fans of the show.
The moment arrived in the third season, after dozens of episodes watching Frank fool around with Margaret, proving himself fiercely and Frank-ly unloyal to the bride featured in this video.
Playing Frank’s unenviable bride Louise Burns is an actor named Jeanne Schulherr whose face we were excited to finally see but whose backstory remains a mystery to M*A*S*H fans.
Who really was Frank’s bride?
There’s a good chance we will never know.
Schulherr only ever appeared on M*A*S*H in her short career. Before she became Frank’s bride, she played an anesthetist in an episode called "O.R." and her final appearance, in an episode called "Big Mac," was so insignificant, she was uncredited as a nurse.
All over the internet, M*A*S*H fan blogs still puzzle over who Schulherr was, how she got cast in this major-minor M*A*S*H role and what happened to her after the show ended.
Unfortunately, like the collapse of Frank’s affair with Margaret, Schulherr’s career ended abruptly, not even speaking a single line on M*A*S*H, the only show she ever appeared on.
It makes us wonder if perhaps she was related to someone on the cast and crew and stepped in when needed because she was available.
A funny Reddit thread shows how far some fans are willing to go to pose theories on the mysterious actor. In it, the original poster asked, "Captain Sloan and Louise Burns, are they the same person?"
You might remember Captain Sloan from the second season episode "The Incubator." With glasses and a similar face shape to Louise, their resemblance is rather striking:
The actor playing Captain Sloan was named Eldon Quick, though, so if there is a relation to Schulherr, it cannot be deduced from their names.
The Reddit thread wasn’t worried about the actors, though, instead posing a joking theory about how Captain Sloan was posing as Frank’s frowning bride, while working as an agent going deeply undercover.
"Given that the actor, Eldon Quick, appeared as both Captain Sloan in Seasons 2 and 3 and then as Captain Pratt in Season 4, it's not unlikely that he was a CIA/CID/Army Intelligence agent like Flagg, and was in deep cover as Louise Burns to figure out if Frank was as jingo-ultra American imperialist as he claimed to be," wrote commenter NeutroBlaster96. "And we know gender norms mean nothing to those types since Flagg was a showgirl in Vegas at the Sands for six weeks."
Another commenter responded quipping, "Does that make Klinger the ultimate intelligence agent?"
Although this goofy Reddit thread gets us no closer to knowing who Frank’s bride really was, it does show that to some M*A*S*H fans, Jeanne Schulherr, who never became a star, instead has become an enigma.