Holy Rubber Chicken! It’s “Batman: the Movie” Tonight!

Attention, citizens: be on the lookout for Svengoolie in the Lombard area today- at Tom and Eddie’s , that bastion of gourmet burgers and more, at the Shops at Butterfield in Yorktown Center. You can get an autograph, take a photo, order Svengoolie’s Chicken SandWITCH, and get a special souvenir Sven cup- and, if you dress in your finest costume, whether a child or adult- you could win a prize! Sven will be there from 1 to 3 pm… Meanwhile, tonight on the Me-TV network, if you thought Dr. Cyclops’ shrinking machine could cause havoc-you’ll be stunned by another invention that could upset the peace of our very world itself! When a criminal collaboration of the most ruthless criminals of all time utilize the technological wonder to turn world leaders into dehydrated powder- it’s up to a brave titan in tights to stand up to them- in the 1966 camp classic –“Batman: the Movie”! Please refrain from complaining – “this isn’t a horror movie”; “why are you running this in Halloween month?”-lately, I’ve had to repeatedly explain that- we are contracted to air certain movies at certain times dictated by the distributors. We also are PREVENTED from running certain movies at certain times, due to commitments previously made by those distributors. When you see some of the classic horror films scheduled on cable channels this time of year- it may just be a reason why WE aren’t running them right now. Be calm, citizen- you must be aware that among the most popular Halloween costumes every year are- Batman, the Joker, and Robin- plus, the Batman series from the 1960s is a very popular show here on the Me-TV network. Add to that the fact that this campy movie is pretty entertaining. The plot: four of the Caped Crusader’s greatest foes- the Joker, the Riddler , the Penguin, and Catwoman- are all on the loose (heck of a prison system you have there, Gotham City) and have joined forces to kidnap an eccentric Englishman (though he is blissfully unaware of it) who is bringing a dehydrator to America- and grab his amazing invention- for which they have an evil use. Their plan: to dehydrate the various world leaders attending a United World Organization security council meeting, and hurl the world into chaos! Batman and the Boy Wonder must try to prevent this from happening- but Batman, in his alter ego identity as millionaire Bruce Wayne, finds himself distracted by a beautiful journalist visiting from Russia- one Miss Kitka (whom bears a striking resemblance to a certain feline female felon). It takes a bunch of Bat-weapons- including the Bat-Copter, the Bat-Boat, and the Bat-cycle- as well as keen deductive reasoning for our heroes to attempt to save the diplomats- and the world! This movie has favorite actors from the TV series- with one exception, which we’ll explain- and we’ll also explain why some of those bat-weapons appear in the movie! There are some classic scenes in this film- including Batman doing his best to get rid of a bomb without harming any living creature- and the Caped Crusader’s battle with a man-eating shark! I need to point out that the actual movie has a running time that’s longer than the usual time allotted to our show-so, to our dismay, we had to edit this movie to fit our timeslot. We did so carefully, and tried not remove too much of the memorable stuff- though it was inevitable that a few things got trimmed. You can catch “Batman” tonight on the Me-TV network at 10 pm eastern, 9 pm central, and at whatever Bat-time our show runs in your area- please check your local listings. In Chicago, you also get the chance to be bugged again by the “Deadly Mantis” at 11 am on WCIU, the U! Okay- for simplicity’s sake- in honor of the shark that attaches itself to Batman in one of this film’s most hokey scenes- let’s have the “Halloween Horror of the Day” be the shark known to cast and crew as “Bruce” in “Jaws”! Although the artificial sharks made to play him in the film were a little more convincing than the one in this “Batman” film- they weren’t great- which is why they decided NOT to show the shark as much, and, inadvertently, made the movie even more terrifying and suspenseful! An undeniably frightening film- “Jaws” gave us an unstoppable monster of the deep who more than earns the title of “Halloween Horror of the Day”!